Received a letter from The Edge, giving me a discount voucher to an Italian restaurant in Holland v.....thought is a good thing that if I can make another 200 in the market, than I am just 500 away from my target.... can celebrate with my wife and give me a nice meal...

Strated off with AAPL on a good start.... wanted to make a bit more to top 37,000 in account, but horrible events started from here.... do not know what the hell am I doing.... not following rules and engage in revenge trading..... damn it, at the end of the date was down 1 k.... how to trade for a living like this.


At that time, the thought of dying actually come across my mind.

I am just too tire to continue with life in this manner.... too much trouble and really do not have the energy to continue to deal with all sort of problems.... I just want to give my wife my best and for her to have a comfortable life..... at least she should not suffer just because she marry me..... I think I fail as a husbank.... sometimes, or in fact quite often, I think she would probably be much better off not marring me that time. I think she will be much more better off than to marry such a useless husband like me....