My boss just employed a new guy, a more junior person but with fx experience.

Everytime we were called in together. I really no idea why he is doing this. Is this the first step of trying to get rid of me? I am totally left out of the affair in the office. Nobody seems to tell me anything. What the fish. Not that I wanted to know, but it feel very lousy when you are not in the inside circle. And with what is happening now, I really have this feeling that he will one day come and tell me that I am surplus to his requirement. If that day ever come, I make sure he will not have a good time either.

My most important thing to do now is to be able to trade for a living. This is really my only hope. Not only is my only hope to make a living, but is also my only hope to regain some pride and dignity. As a top student in all my life, I should be in the top post of a big organisation. But I think I really perform under my potential. What worst is that I am not even able to find a job if I were to lose this one! Why have I be placed into such a situation?

Now imagine if I go interview for a job, and the interviewee is a classmate of mine? This can happen. Just saw the papers today and a classmate is the executive director of a MNC which I thought of applying for a job, or maybe I did apply but cannot remember. I think this is too
much for me to take. Therefore to avoid such a situation, the only viable alternative is to run my own firm. I can than give whatever title I want to myself. But of course, my business must be able to make a certain amount of income so that I will not be shy to have that title.

A CHF10k monthly income will be the minimum, I reckon, but a CHF6.6k should be the absolute minimum, I think. According to the survey of salary from the ministry, a person with a title of "Director" has a salary of about 6k to 22k for the 25% percentile to 75% percentile, with the medium around 15-16k range. So if I were to benchmark against this, my current salary is definately within the range. But this is not the point. The point is that, any people who set up his own company can give himself a title of director but only make 3-4k. An associate director with an advertising firm makes about 6k. What I am aiming for is the "real" director level, those really in the managment level. So I ask my wife what is her firm manageing director making, her answer is around 13-14k, but they have a housing allowance of 6k, so all in all is about 19-20k. I should therefore aim for 13-14k, which is about 10k CHF.

I will try to strech it to CHF15k, which will be around 19.5k, which will bring the annual income to about 234k.... this I feel, will justify my using of the title MD, and also must be my target. I know the fengshui master say that my life is not very good, and that I will probably not meet achieve my objective. However, I still want to give it a try. I owe it to myself. I owe it to my wife. And I owe it to my son.

Today is the 3rd Friday of the month. I am fighting for my account to close above 66k. Hoping that XLE and OIH will go higher so that my options can expire worthless....

Actually I am very disappointed with myself.... I should be having above 70k now, but instead it is lagging my target. I rework my forecast and hope that I can achieve a trading income the same as my full time job income in the next 15 months. Hope that God will help me.

I get really sick of my boss. I just hope that my trading income can equal my job income, than I can quit my job. Of course, I can quit my job, but that does not mean that I will, at least not yet.
If I can make the same amount of money both side, why bother to quit my full time job? The only reason will be that it is so unbearable here, which sometime, it is. However, on balance, still ok, for now. I do not know how long can I last, but definatly need to last untill I can make enough for me to maintain my current lifestyle. If I can make say 10-12k, than yes, I can consider quitting, or at least I can fuck care my boss... I can hit back at him as I don't need to fuck care about the job...... I am waiting for that day.... THE DAY..... but now still can't, so LL have to take it for the time being.

I am in fact now, writing my dream into a spreadsheet. At every stage, I will reward myself with something... this is what keep me motivated..... rewards like having a meal in a top restaurant, making overseas trip, change my car, even take a course.....

I really hope one day I can achieve this..... I really, really feel like telling my boss off man.....besides, if I can have that type of income, I can print my namecard with a MD title. Not that I cannot do it now, but just do not feel right loh,,,,,

I saw a news article today.

The article talks about the wages of various jobs, and what caught my eye is the pay of Managing Director. The median pay is around 15k. The 1st quartile and 3rd quartile is about 7500 and 22000 respectively, after I check the MOM website.

The reason why the wages of MD caught my eye is that I am benchmarking my pay with them. With my current pay of close to 8k, I need another 7k to hit that level. However, in actual fact, I needed more because I do not have bonus! So if I take 3 mths bonus, than I need about 18,750 per month. This mean that I need an additional of 10 per month. This is a very tough level.

The other reason is that I said to myself that to have my own namecard printed with the title of a MD, I should at least earn a decent pay, around those earn my the MD of a company, so that I will not feel embaressed to give away my name card. I check with my wife, and here company MD is earning around 16k, before housing allowance. So I use that as the benchmark. Now, the benchmark is more or less confirmed by the MOM survey. So I use the 15k as my benchmark.

But for the purpose of name card printing, I think I am going to set a target of 12k. This will mean that I need to make additional 4.2k per month, or about CHF3.2k. I am not sure if this is possible, but this coincide with my plpanning just a day or two back.

If I can make 3k CHF starting from this month and increase by 200 every month, than by Jul next year (exactly one year from now), I will have hit my target. But if I wanted to take into the consideration of bonus, than I need about 8.2k CHF, which than I have to wait for another year, assuming everything go smoothly.

So here is it, if within the next 3-6 months I can earn at least 3k CHF consistantly, than I can print my personal namecard with a title of MD without feeling embaress. Hey, some MD only earns 7.5k, which is lower than what I am making now. Than I shall aim for 15k. Ultimately, I need to growth my tradig account to 800k CHF.

I still have this fear of the downside, so it is important that I hedge my downside positions. If not, disaster can happen if a black Monday event occur. a 20% drop in one day will wipe out my whole trading account! But to buy a further strike put will reduce my profit, so I have been thinking this for awhile and finally, I think probably the best way is to sell uneven amount of otion, i.e., sell more call than put. The reason is that there is panic selling, but there is no such thing as panic buying. If the market rally, I should have time to make adjustment, but if a black Monday even occur, that's it! But a more precise hedge need to be consider as there is no point of buying insurance at a strike that will wipe out my account anyway....

The other reason for me to want to make sure I attain my target is that I cannot seems to be able to find another job at this stage..... sometimes, I really regretted not accepting the offer from ARA. It is probably the most stupid decision I made to stay here... no increment, no bonus, no perks, no more bankers entertainment. What I have is an idiot boss..... I just want to earn enough so that I can quit this job. Or rather, I can earn enough so that I do not need to depend on this job.....By than, I can treat this job as just something that give me additional cash flow... making some money without doing much work....but now is still not the time..... at least one year is needed, but I think the next 3-6 month will give an indication if my target is achieviable... I pray to God that it can work out for me.

Now with my baby boy coming soon, I need extra income for the baby... so this is something I need to make it work.