Everytime I told myself I have to follow rules, I break my rules again.
So let's write it down.
1) Daily stop loss of 20 pips and profit target of 20 pips.
2) Stop trading if there are two losses in a day.
3) Must consistantly use the same strategy.
As i am writing this, I trade and break by rules again.....
Friday, February 13, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Just when I thought I can control my emotion, disasters strike again. Why is this happening to me?
Is this message from God that I should not attempt to trade for a living? Then why gave me all the solutions when I bum into it? The only solution lacking is making money from the market. That is the only thing matter, and yet there is no solution.
Oh God, please help me. If I were to live my live in this way, why don't you just take me away from this world? I will be better dying than to stay alive. I am just a burden to other people and I am not a good father or husband. Why does God ever want to bring me to this world? I am just a burden to my wife. I hope I can just sleep tonite and never need to wake up again. Oh God, please tell me what I should do.
Is this message from God that I should not attempt to trade for a living? Then why gave me all the solutions when I bum into it? The only solution lacking is making money from the market. That is the only thing matter, and yet there is no solution.
Oh God, please help me. If I were to live my live in this way, why don't you just take me away from this world? I will be better dying than to stay alive. I am just a burden to other people and I am not a good father or husband. Why does God ever want to bring me to this world? I am just a burden to my wife. I hope I can just sleep tonite and never need to wake up again. Oh God, please tell me what I should do.
Sunday, February 08, 2009
My baby boy was awake since 2 am last night and for the whole night, I did not sleep as he just kept on knocking on the bed and I have to wake up a few time to check on him. Decided to report sick and get away from work to rest as really not feeling very well due to lack of sleep.
So I went down to PP to visit singtel shop and ended up subscrible to the mobile broadband.
My intention is to try it out for the next 2 months, and if it is ok, than replace the home wireless. But more importantly, it allows me to carry out my plan, which was brought about by a series of events.
If I were to trade for a living, I think I will want to trade from outside, like in the national library. In the past, I thought about renting a work station and park my car at URA carpark, but the cost of rental is not that cheap. Furthermore, with my losses, I thought I should find a corporate job and forget about trading.
Finding a corporate job is not easy. I pray to God every day, every hour for a corporate treasury job. And one fine day, he answered my prayer and a company out of the blue called me up and offered me a job, a job that i went for interview about 5,6 weeks before. I called ATH to see if his company is still looking for people and if I will be offered a job. Sad to say, things are out of his hand. So I started with my current company, which is not my ideal job, but I am grateful to have a job nontheless.
Things, however, turn out to be, or rather not what I expected. Besides having to endure a boring job scope with some funny policies, I still have to put up with a boss that steal my credit.
Then one day, my friend called me and asked me to persuade her brother not to trade forex. So I met up with her and her brother. I try to put in some reality to him, but I did not try to persuade him. I leave the choice to him. But in the conversation, I asked him about the method. Though I am not really interested in the method, what I find interesting is the stop loss and take profit target of just about 20 pips, and he trade mini lots, which is 10,000.
I than think about it and i think about my trading. Then it strike me that in the past, I have problem because the minimum is 100,000 and that because I have to how position for at least 1-5 days, it become very difficult to handle the risk for personal trading. So I begin to explore various platform.
It also strike me that I can park my car at Carlton hotel, which is cheaper. Another reason is that I can make use of the library as my office. I then try the free internet connection in the library, but find that it is unreliable. I then wonder maybe have to trade from home. But than on Saturday, I saw an ads on mobile broadband. I check it out and realised that I can subscrible to mobile broadband which enable me to surf the web anywhere. This is what leads me to signing for the mobile broadband.
All this makes me wonder, did God makes me go through all these so as to lead me to what I supposed to do for my future? I asked Him but I could not get an answer. I thought than if that is the plan He has for me, than he will tell me someway right? So I trade intraday for the whole of last week, thinking thaty if God's plan is for me to trade for a living, He will tell me by letting me make profit, otherwise, I will blow away my account. But after last week, the conclusion is inconclusive.
Today, I was in Borders reading a book, and it talk about this guy who trade FX and only scalp for 10 pips per day. I think, is this what God is telling me? What that guy do is not without reason as he will not overtrade. Also, what he said is correct, that often, he will give back the profit to the market if he continue to trade after he hit the daily target. I need to think through this strategy, but I think I agree.
I need to have discipline. Take today for example, after making about 240, I continue to trade and eventually lost back about 80. I will be better off just don't even border to on the computer at night and go to sleep!
But with a profit of 160, how can I survive? I need to make 450 per day. I need to increase my lot size, and this is the difficult part for me now. And since I am still holding on to a corporate job, psycologicaly, I am better because i know that my salary will still comes in at the end of month. But trading, I have no such luxuary. What am I supposed to do? I pray to God to give me some direction.
If I were to adopt a strict discipline of 20 pips cut loss and 15 pips target, base on lot size of 100,000, I can only make S$225, and that is not counting if I make losses on certain days. So I have to increase my lot size to about 300,000, but the risk on 300,000 20 pips is USD600, or about S$900 - no way! The other way is to target 2 trades of 15 pips profit.
I hope that God can guide me.
So I went down to PP to visit singtel shop and ended up subscrible to the mobile broadband.
My intention is to try it out for the next 2 months, and if it is ok, than replace the home wireless. But more importantly, it allows me to carry out my plan, which was brought about by a series of events.
If I were to trade for a living, I think I will want to trade from outside, like in the national library. In the past, I thought about renting a work station and park my car at URA carpark, but the cost of rental is not that cheap. Furthermore, with my losses, I thought I should find a corporate job and forget about trading.
Finding a corporate job is not easy. I pray to God every day, every hour for a corporate treasury job. And one fine day, he answered my prayer and a company out of the blue called me up and offered me a job, a job that i went for interview about 5,6 weeks before. I called ATH to see if his company is still looking for people and if I will be offered a job. Sad to say, things are out of his hand. So I started with my current company, which is not my ideal job, but I am grateful to have a job nontheless.
Things, however, turn out to be, or rather not what I expected. Besides having to endure a boring job scope with some funny policies, I still have to put up with a boss that steal my credit.
Then one day, my friend called me and asked me to persuade her brother not to trade forex. So I met up with her and her brother. I try to put in some reality to him, but I did not try to persuade him. I leave the choice to him. But in the conversation, I asked him about the method. Though I am not really interested in the method, what I find interesting is the stop loss and take profit target of just about 20 pips, and he trade mini lots, which is 10,000.
I than think about it and i think about my trading. Then it strike me that in the past, I have problem because the minimum is 100,000 and that because I have to how position for at least 1-5 days, it become very difficult to handle the risk for personal trading. So I begin to explore various platform.
It also strike me that I can park my car at Carlton hotel, which is cheaper. Another reason is that I can make use of the library as my office. I then try the free internet connection in the library, but find that it is unreliable. I then wonder maybe have to trade from home. But than on Saturday, I saw an ads on mobile broadband. I check it out and realised that I can subscrible to mobile broadband which enable me to surf the web anywhere. This is what leads me to signing for the mobile broadband.
All this makes me wonder, did God makes me go through all these so as to lead me to what I supposed to do for my future? I asked Him but I could not get an answer. I thought than if that is the plan He has for me, than he will tell me someway right? So I trade intraday for the whole of last week, thinking thaty if God's plan is for me to trade for a living, He will tell me by letting me make profit, otherwise, I will blow away my account. But after last week, the conclusion is inconclusive.
Today, I was in Borders reading a book, and it talk about this guy who trade FX and only scalp for 10 pips per day. I think, is this what God is telling me? What that guy do is not without reason as he will not overtrade. Also, what he said is correct, that often, he will give back the profit to the market if he continue to trade after he hit the daily target. I need to think through this strategy, but I think I agree.
I need to have discipline. Take today for example, after making about 240, I continue to trade and eventually lost back about 80. I will be better off just don't even border to on the computer at night and go to sleep!
But with a profit of 160, how can I survive? I need to make 450 per day. I need to increase my lot size, and this is the difficult part for me now. And since I am still holding on to a corporate job, psycologicaly, I am better because i know that my salary will still comes in at the end of month. But trading, I have no such luxuary. What am I supposed to do? I pray to God to give me some direction.
If I were to adopt a strict discipline of 20 pips cut loss and 15 pips target, base on lot size of 100,000, I can only make S$225, and that is not counting if I make losses on certain days. So I have to increase my lot size to about 300,000, but the risk on 300,000 20 pips is USD600, or about S$900 - no way! The other way is to target 2 trades of 15 pips profit.
I hope that God can guide me.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
It has been a long time since I update this blog.
I was out of a job in Aug. I am lost and I do not know what to do.... so I told my wife I am going to church again, after a break of 11 years. While I went to church previously, I was never a Christian. This time, I said the prayer and by definition, I have accepted Christ and become a Christian. I pray to God to shoulder my worries. I pray to God to give me a job.
It seems that God answer my prayer a month later, and now I am with this company. But after almost 3 months here, I found that it is not what I wanted. The people in this company is each for his own. My boss is somebody that will steal his subordinate's credit and push the blame. Worst, he knew nothing about treasury! How can it be? I thank God for giving me a job, but I must say that I am not sure if this is what God's plan for me. Why He gave me a job, but not a job that I prayed for? is this His way of getting me to come to Him? Is this His way of getting me to do some other things later? Ii am not sure.
I started to go back to trading of FX. For the past 2 days, I traded only 10,000 and make about 160. But inside my mind, I have this feeling that if I were to increase my size, I will get hit. True enough, when I increase to 30,000, my internet connection is down, I could not placed a stop loss. But even if I can, I may still be hesitant to close my position. How can I trade for a living?
I ask God if His plan for me is for me to trade for a living? I did not get an answer, so to me, the only way is to try trading, and if I cannot make it, than that will be God's answer.
What am I to do going forward? I have comtemplated to commit suicide for hundred of times, I get sick of life, I get sick of struggling, I get sick of falling behind. I am a top student in school, from secondary to university, but I failed in my career. Why should I go thru university if this is the case? Might as well just let be finish my secondary school and that's it. At least I have an excuse to fail in life.
I pray to God to give me direction, but I do not think I hear from Him. Oh Lord, what should I do? All I ask for is thagt I can do something I like and make a living, nothing more.... and what I wanted to do is to trade for a living.....I know that I can do it for I have been doing it for my previous companies and have been making money every year. I just do not understand why i cannot trade for myself.
God, please help me and give me some directions as to what I should do.
I was out of a job in Aug. I am lost and I do not know what to do.... so I told my wife I am going to church again, after a break of 11 years. While I went to church previously, I was never a Christian. This time, I said the prayer and by definition, I have accepted Christ and become a Christian. I pray to God to shoulder my worries. I pray to God to give me a job.
It seems that God answer my prayer a month later, and now I am with this company. But after almost 3 months here, I found that it is not what I wanted. The people in this company is each for his own. My boss is somebody that will steal his subordinate's credit and push the blame. Worst, he knew nothing about treasury! How can it be? I thank God for giving me a job, but I must say that I am not sure if this is what God's plan for me. Why He gave me a job, but not a job that I prayed for? is this His way of getting me to come to Him? Is this His way of getting me to do some other things later? Ii am not sure.
I started to go back to trading of FX. For the past 2 days, I traded only 10,000 and make about 160. But inside my mind, I have this feeling that if I were to increase my size, I will get hit. True enough, when I increase to 30,000, my internet connection is down, I could not placed a stop loss. But even if I can, I may still be hesitant to close my position. How can I trade for a living?
I ask God if His plan for me is for me to trade for a living? I did not get an answer, so to me, the only way is to try trading, and if I cannot make it, than that will be God's answer.
What am I to do going forward? I have comtemplated to commit suicide for hundred of times, I get sick of life, I get sick of struggling, I get sick of falling behind. I am a top student in school, from secondary to university, but I failed in my career. Why should I go thru university if this is the case? Might as well just let be finish my secondary school and that's it. At least I have an excuse to fail in life.
I pray to God to give me direction, but I do not think I hear from Him. Oh Lord, what should I do? All I ask for is thagt I can do something I like and make a living, nothing more.... and what I wanted to do is to trade for a living.....I know that I can do it for I have been doing it for my previous companies and have been making money every year. I just do not understand why i cannot trade for myself.
God, please help me and give me some directions as to what I should do.
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