Just when I thought I can control my emotion, disasters strike again. Why is this happening to me?

Is this message from God that I should not attempt to trade for a living? Then why gave me all the solutions when I bum into it? The only solution lacking is making money from the market. That is the only thing matter, and yet there is no solution.

Oh God, please help me. If I were to live my live in this way, why don't you just take me away from this world? I will be better dying than to stay alive. I am just a burden to other people and I am not a good father or husband. Why does God ever want to bring me to this world? I am just a burden to my wife. I hope I can just sleep tonite and never need to wake up again. Oh God, please tell me what I should do.