Walking in the airport and it seems a world of a difference it made.

Previously, my feeling is an exciting one as I trvalled on company account. Though I do not have the privilege of business class, but every trip is a type of "bonus" for me as I travel for business, I have a job so that my expenses are not a problem.

Today, it is a very different thing. I lost my job, and now, I need to even consider every cent that I spent. Furthermore, with my new born son, I also need to consider about his expenses.

I just pray to God that things will turn out well for me and that after I return from Jakarta, I can get a job in treasury so that I can continue with my life. I pray to God everyday for a job. I alsoi pray to God everyday for the forgiveness from IN so that he will let matter rest.

I just hope to get on with my life. Maybe not to the old stlye, but at least I do not need to count every cent. I just cannot afford to let my wife carry the burden of providing for the family. I pray to God that what brother Alan prayed for me will come through, whereby he prayed that I will get a job within a month and that not only it being a job, but also a career that I can build upon. I am very tired. I have no intention to leave. I realised that my skill set is really limited and that I need to build up some solid work experience.

I am not sure what else can I do except to pray to God and hope that m y prayer will be answered. I am still hoping that God will give me clear direction. I am not sure if I feel him, but I pray that he can help me to remove any doubt, so that I have total trust in him. I wanted to come to Lord like a child.

I am facing the greatest crisis of my life and if I can pull this through, it must be God that help me along the way. This is my second time being jobless for awhile, and I really hope that I can get back to work by 10 or 17 Nov. It feel so lousy that when everybody is working, I just stay at home and do nothing.