It is really depressing as I lost my job. It is a very bitter experience, and what is worst is that I committed a stupid error. I just hope that I can overcome this greatest crisis of my live.

I have been going to church for 7-8 years in my younger days and also attended cell group meting, but stopped for a very long period of time. I am still not a Christian by then. But 2 Sundays ago, I decided to revisit church and I spoke to a pastor.

I read the materials he gave me and attended two consecutive service and also the miracle service.

After that Sunday, I received a call from a school telling me that they are offering me a job. Than on Tuesday, ath called and ask to meet up. I told my wife about it and she said that it may be a coincident. She said maybe it is the work of xu yi ting when I went to see her the other week and she light up candle for me. Honestly, of course, I do not have the answer.

I accepted Christ and my faith is with Him, but whether if there is any conflict by believing in fengshui, I am not sure. Xu said that I will get an offer sometime in Dec, but I will not be satisfy with the offer. I will also have help from a person in Jan, so she said that I need not worry too much. So with the lights she burn for me, did it actually accelerated the process? If this is the case, than does it mean that the help from that person will come end of this month or next month if based on the acceleration timing? And wo can this person be? Is it ATH, who incidentally he is born in the year of pig, whereby it is the year where people born during those year will be of great help to me? Furthermore, ATH does hinted that he may be looking for people, but he is non-committal, except to say that things will be clearer this week. I really hope that he is looking for people and that I can have a job offer from him. After all, having worked with him before, I think we are comfortable with each other. And I think the type of job will be closer than what I had been doing. So is the job offer from the school the type of offer that Xu said that I will not be satisfied with? and than follow by the appearance of a person that will be of help to me, which is ATH?

I really need a proper job in treasury. I pray to God everyday that I can get a job offer from ATH to join him. And as what brother Alan prayed fro me, that is for me to get a job within a month and also not only a job, but a career. I am very tired and I do not want to move anymore, what I want is to stay on and do a good job and progress with the company.

Everyday, I am saying my prayer, and I wanted to open up my heart and accept Christ like a child. I wanted peace, joy, and freedom in my heart, and I also wanted to off load my burden upon God. I know that I myself cannot handle this crisis alone. I know that God has a plan for me, and hopefully His plan is the same as what I have in mind. I really pray that my sin can be forgiven, and I thank Lord that he die for our guilt 2000 years ago, and His blood cleanse our sin.

I try to fell God and I long for His direction. I am not sure I have the feeling yet. I wanted to speak to somebody with regard to this. Is it that I still have doubt and that is why I cannot feel Him? I am not sure. The advice I got is to trust God, which I am trying very hard to do it. I say the prayer, accepting Christ. I read the Bible, though there are many things I am unsure of in the Bible, and I attend church service. I hope that as time passes by, as my faith grow, I can experience God.

What I can do now is to continue to pray to Him. I pray that I N can forgive what I 've done. I hope that things can be put aside and I can get on with my life. I pray that I can get a job offer from ATH so that I can fulfill my responsibility as a father, a son, and a husband. I thank God that my first interview with "F" company has gone well. The second interview, which is going to happen next week, but due to my commitment, I will be away the whole of next week. Luckily, a phone interview can be arranged, though I was told that I will be disadvantaged because of this. Again, I must have faith that things are being planned for. So I just have to take it one step at a time.

On reflection of my past, I really think that I am a failure. As what Steven said, I seem to be not having good relationship with boss. This is my problem, and I always think that I am the one that is "correct". I vow that I will not commit the same mistake again in my next job, if I can get one.

I cannot imagine if I do other things like security guard? Taxi driver? or in F&B line? Actually not even sure if they want to hire me given my skill set is totally irrelevant.

I just have to pray to God that things will ultimately turn out well, as shared by many people with me. People like Lina, etc. Sometimes I think maybe this is God's plan, so that I can spend time with Lucas in his beginning months.